Sometimes a thing just has to be done in less than ideal circumstances. And if it has to be done, just do it, and try to smile. The second you realize that you have choice, then the question is: "Who do I want to become?"
We are all recovering. Relapse is part of recovery. In everything that you want to improve, on every personal hill that you are climbing, you will eventually backslide. Hopefully you don't tumble all the way down the hill. Hopefully you slide to a stop and immediately refocus on the summit that inspired you in the first place.