We are all recovering. Relapse is part of recovery. In everything that you want to improve, on every personal hill that you are climbing, you will eventually backslide. Hopefully you don't tumble all the way down the hill. Hopefully you slide to a stop and immediately refocus on the summit that inspired you in the first place.
If you want to get good at something, you are going to need to first be ok being bad at it. If you can do that, then the next thing to do is figure out how you can put yourself in situation where you can safely make a whole bunch of mistakes in a short time. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Certainly the structure of our world isn't fair, and clearly, when the deck is literally stacked against you, and when the culture you exist in is built to keep you down, "I think I cans" have to hit a bit different. But... even if you start on home base, or in the dugout, or in the parking lot... I still believe that: believing in yourself, holding yourself accountable, having a forward-focused attitude, pushing yourself beyond what you think you can accomplish, and hustling matters.
Want is such a pivotal part of our daily experience that no story or character is believable unless there is want... A hole to be filled, a mountain to be climbed, a star to be grasped, a feeling to be felt. Maybe that is the curse of human existence... that we, unlike all other animals, have found a way to articulate the existence of the bottomless pit inside ourselves, but still haven't found a reliable way to fill it.