Week 29 of 2024 has arrived. There is so much naked self interest. I'm guilty too. This week, as the heat of the summer settles on the Northern Hemisphere and everyone has 10% less patience... find one small area where you are acting in self interest and flip the interaction to selfless.  See if that's better... for you.

I was listening to Rich Roll's podcast with Elite Athlete Psychologist Dr. David Spindler today, and Dr. Spindler was talking about the fact that if you are happier, you are able to endure exhaustion and withstand pain for longer.... BUT... he felt compelled to offer this caveat almost before he was finished with the other sentence... "you don't have to be happy all the time."  I thought that was really interesting... That he knew someone listening would now start to berate themselves internally if they "weren't happy".

It is easy to fall into the trap of rules and absolutes, and no room for less than 1000%..."Hmm, the instructions say be happy for best performance... I guess I must ALWAYS BE HAPPY!"

I don't think you can pursue happiness.  It seems to be something that results from other behaviors and experiences.  It is a symptom, not a condition. 

Our newest poster!: 4K Weeks Blink of an Eye.  18 childhood years at home on one poster.

Remarkable Weeks

Week  29 of 1960, Sirimavo Bandaranaike became the world's first female elected head of state when she became the Prime Minister of Ceylon, now Sri Lanka. She was 2,309.43 weeks old (44.29 yrs). 

Week  29 of 1995, Bill Gates was announced by Forbes Magazine as the richest man in the world with a net worth of $12.9 billion dollars. He was 2,072.43 weeks old (39.74 yrs).

Week  29 of 2023, Taylor Swift's re-recorded "Speak Now" album debuted at the top of the Billboard 200, marking her 12th number one album and surpassing Barbra Streisand's record for the most number one albums by a female artist. She was 1,752.57 weeks old (33.61 yrs).

This Week's Quote

Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them; but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight. -Helen Keller

This is a crazy serendipity.

Eli, my assistant, chooses a quote each week when she is building the shell of the email.  By now she is pretty good at choosing quotes that resonate with me. (Thanks Eli!!!)

This morning, on my way home from basketball I was thinking about what makes the difference between a person who can see the world as it is and grow, and a person who stays stuck in their unhelpful stories and routines.  I was wondering how I got lucky enough to learn how to do this, and I decided I would write about it in the "What I am Thinking About This Week" section.

I will elaborate below, but only because my gut is "more words=better". Hellen Keller gets most of it across in the first sentence of the quote.

To put it another way, the only way to heal and grow stronger is to rip off the band-aid, look honestly at the festering wound, and start cutting out the rot. It hurts more at first, and that's why people don't do it. There is no other way.

What I am Thinking About This Week

How do some people do it... and some people don't.

None of us are special.  None of us is worth more or less than anyone else.  That's true... we are all made of the same goo. About $600 worth of chemicals, give or take a few inches or pounds. I know that we all value each other differently, that's fine. But worth and value aren't the same things.

But we are different. It is actually crazy HOW different we can be from one another.

One person, worth $600 of oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, calcium and phosphorus, exists in a tightening downward spiral of drug addiction, dysfunctional relationships, general chaos and a nihilistic sense that life is "nasty, brutish, and short."

Another person, worth $600 of the same materials, exists in a growing upward spiral of self improvement, fulfilling relationships, widening awareness, and a glowing sense of how wonderful it is to be human.

What is the difference? 

Two behaviors make the difference. Here are both contained in a story.  

I am a sculptor.  I make lumps of clay look like people. I'm pretty good. Not the best, but certainly good enough to be a professional.

This wasn't always true.  I graduated from college, with a degree in sculpture, and I couldn't make a portrait bust that looked like a specific person.

Luckily, somewhere along the way, I picked up the skill of confronting an uncomfortable truth.  And so, when faced with the truth "I know I am not good enough.", I didn't ignore it.  I didn't keep making the same crappy sculptures, while seeking out people who would tell me I was awesome and cutting all the people who didn't agree out of my life.

First behavior: Be brutally honest with yourself about where you stand. 

At first it sucks to admit that you aren't as awesome as you thought... but that's because you are comparing yourself to an external standard, and it is hard to bear the social shame of maybe not being the greatest. You're caught up in keeping up with the Joneses.

There is no "how good you should be". That's a judgement. There is only how good you are or aren't.  That's a fact. It gets much easier to tolerate this honesty the more often you do it.  And someone will always be better than you anyway... who cares.  Run your own race against yourself - it's more fun.

So, how did I go from the statement "I am not good enough to be a professional figurative sculptor" being true, to it being false?

Second behavior: The compounding returns of daily effort.

I spent years moving clay around almost every day.  

It isn't rocket science.   After about two years of regular practice I was good enough.  And then it only took four more years until the studio was busy. (Seems like forever for a 20 year old, and nothing to a 50 year old)

Now, obviously I liked doing it enough to keep practicing even when I wasn't as good as I wanted to be... (which is still true by the way...I am way better than I wanted to be, but I am not as good as I want to be... the goal posts always keep moving...)

I'm not saying you can become an professional sculptor if you don't like standing for hours and moving clay around... I am saying that you can become better at things that YOU like to do, and once you have that skill, you can use it to improve in every other area in your life.

And then one day you will wake up astonished at how far you have come, and be excited about all of the difficult challenges that await you further up the spiral.

Personal Honesty + Compounding Daily Effort = A life you can be proud of. 

Please tell me if you liked/disliked the email this week.  Ask my wife... those are the only emails I like to get!

Until Later,

Spencer, Owner of 4KWeeks.com

Dad Joke O' The Week

What happens when doctors get frustrated?

They lose their patients.